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Changing Our Toughest Rules 

Learn to identify the rules we make for ourselves that make life more difficult.

You can watch the video or keep reading. 

 

 

A lot of our discussion has focussed on things that our minds say to us when we feel down, sad, frustrated, or worried.

What you might also notice is that much of what we say to ourselves also starts with: 

“I should”;

“I must”;

“I have to…”. 

These are very psychologically heavy statements that weigh us down.

People often say: 

“I should be stronger”;

“I shouldn’t have to go through this”;

“I must put on a brave face”;

“I must move more”;

“I have to x,y,z otherwise my family might not love me as much”. 

 

Write down your “should / must / have to” statements. 

 

Today, simply replace “I should / must / have to” with:

I get to” or

I want to

(or any similar statement indicating that you have a choice) and notice what feels different.

Eg: how does your emotional state feel when you say:

“I get to move today”;

“I want to smile today”;

“I want to be happier today”.

How do you feel when you take a moment to ponder the differences in the words you use?

What might change for you if you changed the way you speak to yourself each day?

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